What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
