I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
