I love black thongs
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
