she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
