he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
