Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I am mentally ready for anal.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
