Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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