I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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