Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
