Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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