ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
