my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
