I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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