I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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