so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
