So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
