dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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