she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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