thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
