I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
