You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
