She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
