I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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