Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
pray to the hookup gods
I would ride that face into the sunset
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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