We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
