i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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