Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize