If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
