i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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