saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
