It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
