I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
