At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
