ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
