dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
