Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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