Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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