respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
