I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
