You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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