Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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