the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
