Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
