I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
