You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
