I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
