AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
