my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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