it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i love accidental penises.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
there is glitter all over my balls
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