I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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