HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
