He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
