Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
