She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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