I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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