i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
