Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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