The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
