Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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