Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
